Punching Stone, Kicking Dragon: River City Ransom

We've all heard of River City Ransom before. What's more, the vast majority of us like River City Ransom. I'm in that majority. It seemed so simple a game- you basically took control of two high school kids and kicked the crap out of anything that wasn't you in order to rescue the entirety of a school, including the girlfriend of player two. Yet somehow, it WORKED. Something struck a chord with us all in that game. Was it the simple brawling action, rife with weaponry for the taking and smashing of faces? Was it the fact that you could actually power-up your characters through buying stuff out of outdoor malls from the money wrenched from the cold unconscious hands of fallen gang members? Was it out of curiosity as to why in the hell it wasn't player one's girlfriend that got kidnapped? Who knew? All we DID know was that it was a damn fine game; one of the better ones created.

And thus, the tomes of worthless tripe coming outta my skull for the remainder of this page are related to EXACTLY this game!

Because then you will know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is obviously you shoving your fist into their skulls. In one word: Good. In many more words... Well, read what's inside.

You make me want to barf! Send me back to the front page!