I wasn't really that big a fan of the Lethal Weapon movies. I mean, like most Americans, I know what it is, but I never really saw fit to watch an entire movie. Blame it on the bakunyuu. So as such, I don't really know if this is an accurate interpretation of the movie, this game.

Or at least, I'd have that worry until I actually played through the game a bit. There is no possible way that this game can have anything in the world to do with the movie, and if it turns out that it DOES, I must watch the movie sometime. There is so little of ANYTHING resembling logic in this game that it defies description, although I will do my damn best to try.

First off, I have to conclude that both Riggs and Murtaugh are both on SOMETHING, which I imagine to be some hybrid of chromium and PCP. You see, without a scientific analysis that I will attempt to boil down in a moment, there are few other explanations as to how Riggs' kick and Murtaugh's punch both do more damage than guns, grenades and knives. And the fact that you can absorb at least 40 or 50 bullets before either is anywhere near dying. And the fact that you can kick down helicopters in one hit.

I'm not kidding.

Yeah, generally, one shot or one kick will take these things down. Maybe the rotors are broken or something, maybe the cockpits are WAY too easily penetrated by gunshot. Who knows. I stopped trying to figure it out.

And I can't help but giggle at the fact that you consume 'E' for health, so that you can survive another eight bullets or so to the gut. You'd think that after a while, the bad guys would pick up on this and start a rush to their local dealers. After all, most of them at LEAST remembered to take the pills that allow their legs to become deadlier than a .45 round to the flesh. Either that or they were so deliriously high that they forgot, which is reasonable to assume, considering that they are watching you ruthlessly kill their friends with single kicks to the face.

And halfway through the first stage, the fight's taken to Egypt. No, you don't get to climb the pyramids of Giza to take out Ramses II, although in this game, who the hell knows? Oh yes, I should mention, you lose half your life upon falling into the water. Maybe the massive amounts of drugs Riggs and Murtaugh have consumed have made their bodies denser than mercury. Now THAT'LL sink ya.

See that wall? The one that totally impedes your progress and has no easily identifiable means of destruction?

Well, once again, Riggs-Fu fixes everything.

And of course, at the end of every stage, you fight a boss, all of which are on the same drugs Riggs and Murtaugh have taken. For 1-1, you fight a Bruce Lee wannabe. He can jump 20 feet into the air for no good reason and kick and punch the crap out of you. I beat him using the ancient Riggs-Fu art of Emulator Turbo-Fire, although he falls easily without invoking the secret teachings.

Oh brother, has game-kind ever outdone itself with THIS guy. Yes, my friends, it was Lethal Weapon, not Earthbound, that made the use of a hippie as a foe. But Lethal Weapon took it a few steps further, as he is the Fat Aging Hippie Boss. How cool is the Fat Aging Hippie Boss?



Cool enough to force me to use the cliched-as-hell 'ZOMG PHAT AGEING HIEPPY BOOS PWNS JOO' 'Intentional Loss To Make Him Appear Dangerous' picture.

Play it, experience it, forget about it.

Oh, and about that scientific explanation as to why your kicks hurt so damn badly, here goes. Okay, do you know how the faster something is moving, the greater its impact will be? Well... Your foot gives about, oh, 50 pounds of force, I'd bet, and the speed is instantaneous. So imagine a bowling ball being shot into your face with a shotgun's power... I imagine that's what Riggs-Fu does.

Graphics: 6 Well, you can tell that enemies are overly-fat, that some are Bruce Willis wannabes, that some are morbidly obese hippies, but there's nothing really standout-ish about the graphics. In either a good or bad way.
Sound: 7 Pretty catchy, pretty tightly-looped, and damn but some of the sound effects are irritating. Just jump into something that'll kill you once you're near four health bars. You'll thank me.
Gameplay: 5 Plain average. There's not much besides the messed-up logic that made me want to keep playing, some things you need to do to progress (like the kickable wall described above) are hardly obvious, and there's quite a few irritating facets of the game, like the jackasses who hide in holes and can only be damaged by the dropping part of your jump-kick. In one word, bleah.
Riggs-Fu's Strength: 47,437 NOTHING stands up to your Riggs-Fu. And if it can, remember that you've got your Murtaugh-Jitsu to take care of the stragglers.
Mullet Points: 1 Murtaugh's new look.

Hippie Score: 1970 How many games give you the opportunity to beat up, and get beat up by hippies? Too few.





Kick a link, break the page through to the reviews.

My Bored-Reader-Fu will force you to take me to the main page.