|Graphics: 4||Absurdly well-animated... yet you wouldn't want to see one frame of a lot of these people.|
|Sound: 5||I guess the music is pretty good... But trust me. You will eventually feel the sting about ten minutes into any given stage.|
|Gameplay: 0||I would rather fight Kazuo Kiriyama bare-fisted than play this a third time. That's. Saying. A LOT. I do not feel like going into the reasons again.|
|Bruce Lee Conspiracy Theories: 1||The second boss in this game is clearly supposed to be Bruce Lee. For some reason, bad fighting games have this tendency to try to include him as a character (Double Dragon 3, anybody?) My theory: In 1992, the governments of America and Japan were trying to piss the deceased Bruce Lee off so badly that he would eventually revive himself from sheer rage and become the ultimate bioweapon. As far as I know, this has yet to actually happen.|
|Cliches of Bad Beat-Em-Ups Adhered To: Too damn many||In addition to the Bruce Lee thing, I'll just provide a couple more.
-You fight every boss in the game, in the same sequence you fought them before (luckily you at LEAST get spared Bazooka Pimp), on the last stage.
-You rely pretty much entirely on jumpkicks to get anywhere in the game.
-I feel like I have to review the friggin' thing.
|Questionable Pictures Used to Display a Correlation: 1||You saw it earlier.|